How do I go about this, Emilyo?
I am not new to feelings of loss. I’ve lost a lot of people, but this is so sudden, so new, so raw, so impossibly painful it grips my heart dearly. In what universe did you expect me to accept this gracefully?
Emil, I am a selfish person as you have known long ago. I was always vocal on my personality as to not mislead people I keep close to my circle. But you, you were always so selfless, so humble and so bright in all the smiles you give to people, not just those whose company you keep.
I feel so sorry, my dear. I feel guilty to be given this type of chance at life that you have been robbed with. Compare to all the potential you have yet to explore, I idle my days away thinking that life is so chaotic and I don’t want to partake on any of its mess. But there you are, surviving, thriving through it all. I am embarrassed to show this weak side of me. You were always the strong one. So how is this loss not gonna be a void I would feel in a while?
I’ve said many goodbyes, this one for you will be one I shall force myself to make because I know it will bring you peace. Between the time of your death and heaven, what is there? I’ll miss you. I’ll never forget you. Goodbye and goodnight, my dear.